Do you look at other leaders in your agency and just wish you were as confident as them? Strutting into meetings, looking gorgeous and pulled together, making easy small talk as they balance their laptop and their coffee so effortlessly?
While meanwhile your hair has gone AWOL after the rain, you’ve forgotten to check if lunch is still stuck in your teeth and you’ve just put a ladder in your stockings.
As for small talk, you’re hoping you’ve timed things well enough, that other than the odd nod of acknowledgment as you make your way to the spare seat at the end of the table, you’ve also managed to miss out on hearing about your colleague’s puppy, their daughter’s ballet concert or their home reno’s.
It’s not that you aren’t interested. It’s just that you don’t have the engaging, lively, fun filled life like they seem to. You have nothing to contribute.
It’s not true.
And, you’re not alone.
You’re suffering from comparisonitis.
As humans we have a tendency to compare ourselves with others. For some it can be motivating as we see what is humanly possible and aspire to grow and expand ourselves. But for many, its disempowering.
It’s the opportunity for our mean voice to have her say. As women she is particularly critical as we try to live up to the impossible standard of being perfect in every way – career driven and committed to our jobs (where we have to work extra hard to be noticed and heard). Family orientated (feeding our families organic vegetables while, being a mindful and present parent who also keeps a perfect house). Respectful to our elders (as we look after our aging parents who refuse any external care). A funny and entertaining friend (who is a shoulder to cry on and someone to make us laugh).
The thing is there is no pathway to this perfection. It’s a myth that we can’t ever live up to. It gets perpetuated by the media and all the insidious ways women are made to feel less than.
But, our confidence doesn’t come from being like “her’. It comes from being like us. And when we can own, love and cherish ALL the parts of us that don’t fit the mould, then we’ve got a chance of strutting into that meeting proudly – with our hair messed up, our lipstick smudged, and that coffee stain that came about this morning...
Want some ideas on how to do that? Then join my mailing list and every Monday morning I’ll send you some tips and set you a challenge to build the mindset and the know-how to become a leader that loves living in her own skin!