Do You

This week is week two of Life.Done By Design where we go deep in to our Foundation module “Do You”. I know you shouldn’t have favourites, but if I’m honest this one is probably mine. Even though it’s the first and the foundation module it was actually the last one I put into the framework. You see this one was inspired by my daughter and when I did the research and came across the material for her and applied my learnings to this course it all fell into place. It completed the circle.

You see my daughter suffers from polycystic ovaries. Since her teens we’ve been in and out of doctor surgeries trying to understand the source of her abdominal pain. She’s had scans, food allergy tests, been put on hormonal treatments – you name it she’s tried it. About four years ago she finally got a diagnosis and while there was the relief that she wasn’t losing her mind and there was something real happening inside her, there was also the feelings of loss, the irreparable damage that had been done to date and the knowledge of the slow deterioration of her chances of becoming pregnant and having a regular, manageable cycle. The confirmation to her that her body was letting her down.

And so, I started to dig. I’d been uncomfortable with the prodding and the poking and I’d become concerned about her connection to herself.

You see growing up she was of those kids with an active imagination and a love to play. She’d dress up, play pretending and make believe. She had an active and vivid imagination. But she also carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She came home from kindy one day concerned that the whole class had been told play time was over “but what if we hadn’t finished playing” she cried to me. In the same year she couldn’t understand why they had to have lunch when the bell rang “but what if some people aren’t hungry” she’d asked. Or the time she came home upset because they were told if they didn’t put a hat on they couldn’t go outside “but what if we don’t all feel like wearing a hat?” she’d exclaimed.

As a primary schooler, we had a 30-minute countdown routine for when friends who had come over to play had to go home. You see removing a friend cold turkey without warning was hard for her. When she was around 15 and changed schools her head teacher called me a few weeks in concerned that she wasn’t paying attention in class. I had to explain to her that until she’d set up her social network and worked out where she fitted in, they weren’t getting anything out of her – and that had to be ok because that is the place she can then function from. She needs people around her.

You see once she’s found her place and feeling settled with the world, she’s the best friend you’ll ever have. She’s wild, adventurous, funny, entertaining, will do anything for you and will go “there” with you – she’ll feel all the feels, she won’t let an injustice go past without calling it out and she’s there with you even if she should be somewhere else.

Now while I talk about her with a great deal of love and affection the reality is along the way she got labelled. You see girls who are loud, have something to say, do things differently or have other ideas are often said to be too much, too loud, too disruptive, too argumentative, too “out there”.

She’s one of those girls who doesn't fit the stereotype of what society tell us how women should be.

And so, as I’m researching her medical condition I start to learn about the connection between a woman, her body and her cycle.

That the increase in menstrual and fertility issues in women can be traced back to how she feels about herself, her body and its ability to create, birth and nurture and the deep connection this gives her to the source she came from.

The growing swell of realisation that many of these issues are a reflection of the growing beliefs that our bodies are inconvenient, they let us down. That, when they don’t look like they should and that when we don’t act in ways that are stereotypical of our gender – you know pleasing to others – then the seeds of self-doubt grow from discontent to distrust to a self-loathing that lies so deep in our DNA that we are affected on a cellular and genetic level!

And, that these deep issues of self-loathing that continue to be passed through the generations now manifest themselves though these womb related issues.

And so, as a foundation module in Life. Done By Design we start here. We go back to basics. We return to the days when women and their bodies where revered. When they were encouraged to be all of who they were. When they weren’t described as being too much. When their menstrual cycle was celebrated, and they were welcomed to womanhood. When communities set up “red tents” so the women could reconnect with their inner selves and mother nature and renew and refresh the collective energy of their communities every single month. We go back to the idea of living in tune with our cycles (or those of the moon) and following their ebbs and flows of our own biological clock. We talk about attracting things to us rather than pushing through to have them. And we talk about loving our bodies. How we are spiritual beings having a human experience and that while our bodies aren’t who we are they are the places we house our soul. Loving and adoring them therefore is a sacred ritual.

All best summed up by Denise Lim who says:

There is a magical and mysterious place inside every woman. It is a place where the past embraces the future, where ancient womanly wisdom dwells, old Goddess legends can be found, and new legacies can be created. It’s a sacred realm that can nurture your soul with compassion to make you whole. When you discover this secret place, you truly know the glory and pleasure of being a woman.

And who doesn't want that!

PS Want to know a bit more about living with your cycles, the phases of the moon and in flow? Then download my FREE guide “Doing You in Every Season from my free resources page.

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