Have you ever had that experience where you work really hard for something only to find that when you’ve achieved it, it’s not long until those feel good endorphins run out and so you’re looking for the next thing to conquer? It’s like when you just have to have that new car, or that new pair of shoes and you feel like a million dollars in them until that first scratch or scuff and suddenly the shine of having them starts to wear off.
The reason this happens is because we are chasing the feeling more so than the object or the objective. We want the new car to feel like something in the same way we want the new pair of shoes, the promotion, the weight loss or the achievement to. When we strive for the things rather than live into the feelings we are after, we find ourselves in a loop of dissatisfaction – the need to have, followed by the inevitable discontentment, leading to the need to have again.
We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with images and messages that promise those good feelings however the promise is that these allusive feelings are only available to us after we have achieved, bought or conquered something.
But what if there was a different way?
What if we turned it around and worked out what feelings we wanted to experience first? If we daydreamed, visualised and contemplated our future and what that looked like and instead of going straight into the doing to achieve that vision, we started with the being. So, we ask ourselves the question – who do I need to be to live that future? What do I want to feel? Secure, connected, successful, courageous, safe? And, if that’s how I want to feel then what can I do right now to experience those feelings. Here’s some suggestions:
Declutter and tidy up your office to reduce the feelings of overwhelm and create a feeling of focus.
Rearrange your financial situation to feel more in control.
Go through your wardrobe and put together new outfit combinations you haven’t tried before to feel refreshed and more confident.
Pack up a picnic and spend time outside with loved ones away from the everyday distractions to feel more connected.
Cook a meal at home and go for a long walk to feel healthier and more energised.
When we are able to embody the feelings, we can be the person we want to be regardless of what we have or what is going on around us. We no longer have the pressure of needing to control our external environment and so instead of chasing what we want, we can call it in. After all we attract what we are.
Our outside world is simply a reflection of our inner world.
So, spend some time daydreaming and visualising what you what your future could look like in one year, five years or ten years’ time. See if you can uncover the feelings that are associated with those desires and then challenge yourself to embody those feelings now. There is no need to wait! As you become that vision of your future, it will become clear to you what your very next step should be.
If you like the sound of this approach go on the waitlist for the next round of the Life.Done By Design. It’s a 6-week program designed for you to create a life you love by living with intention. It’s designed especially for women and is underpinned by the philosophy that when we can connect with ourselves we unlock the potential and wisdom that already resides in each and every one of us.