Last week I did something that’s taken me 20+ years to do.
Yep 20+ YEARS!
I published my coaching page. Now, I know you might be thinking that’s not such a big deal but for me it was bigger than I thought.
You see I just thought I was procrastinating. After all I only completed my coaching certification program last year. And hey, I’ve spent all this year either camping or in temporary accommodation waiting for my new place to be finished. It was meant to be done by the end of February and there was no way I could take on coaching clients while I was camping by the beach, right? Sooo unprofessional…
So instead of taking on clients I filled the first few months of this year becoming a certified hypnotherapist while I waited. But then I had to wait some more so I created an express coaching package and limited myself to 5 clients. It was a juggle getting the times and locations right given I was still camping and then in short stay accommodation (with the usual hotel type interruptions) and now in a one bedroom/studio unit with NO privacy. However, I’ve made it work and picked up more coaching clients along the way, and so I decided to build my webpage and publish it.
Makes sense so far, right?
I’d even created the structure, done the text, found the pictures but still no website because then came even more excuses about time, other commitments and the like. That was until I finally committed to a day I was going to do it. Even then, what should have taken a few hours took the whole day and then some! I kept tweaking, adding bits, taking bits away – everything except pressing publish.
It wasn’t until I finally pressed publish that I felt the sense of the enormity of what I had done. You see 20+ years when I was a Psychology student, I was terrified I would do someone harm. In my final year I chose to specialise in organisational psychology rather than counselling for this very reason. In my professional career I designed, developed and facilitated others to coach but never did it formally myself. At best I saw myself as a mentor, never as a coach. When I left my career in the public service a few people reached out and asked if I would coach them as they were either new to the public service or struggling with a difficult workplace matter. NO! I would answer emphatically I’m not a coach but I’ll help you. So, over many coffees, and in many offices, I would offer support, guidance, and reassurance.
Then as I developed and promoted my training courses Life Done by Design and Leadership Done by Design I’d get even more requests for coaching. So, when I found a year long coaching qualification that incorporated the woo (my previous word for embodiment) I jumped at the opportunity to “get qualified”.
However even after doing that and investing a significant amount of time, money and energy I still didn’t see myself as a proper coach even though I loved it. I didn’t go gun-ho and complete the necessary number of hours like everyone else. More excuses…..
You see that pesky fear, that limiting belief that if I worked one-on-one with someone I would cause them harm has been lingering for all that time. It’s the reason I couldn’t ever identify as a coach even though I’ve been doing it for 20 plus years in the corporate world. It’s the fear that would stop me in my tracks, have my heart skip a beat and send me into a sweat if someone asked me if I would coach them. It’s the same fear that wouldn’t let me press publish on my webpage even though I really wanted to.
You see I thought getting more qualifications, bundling my unique experience and certifications was the answer. But it wasn’t either.
Instead, it’s been the quest to heal. The commitment to live a life a little less ordinary. A desire to live in alignment with the things that light me up. It’s deciding to live and lead with intention, passion and purpose. To become more of what I already am.
To no longer be contained by old fears and limiting beliefs. To open myself up to the lessons that come with discomfort and disappointment. To take a journey inward and rediscover the wisdom and possibilities that lie within my cells, my DNA and my ancestral lines.
What about you?
Are you ready to step into possibility? Is there something holding you back that you can’t quite put your finger on?
If this resonates then check out my coaching packages. Who knows, I could be what you need – a guide, a support and cheerleader helping you access the wisdom and desires lying dormant in you.