I was coaching a client recently when as a side note she told me with despair how challenging meetings where for her, especially when she first walked in and read the room. It was exhausting for her. After digging a little deeper I was able to assure her that being able to do that was actually a superpower and that most people weren’t able to do it to the degree she had explained her experience to me. I’ve been thinking about that conversation a lot. It’s become so familiar to me. The devaluing of things that can’t be seen or measured especially in the workplace. The thing is, a superpower such as the one my client described to me, isn’t easily understood. Others don’t understand how things can shift in front of them when nothing on the surface appears to have changed. They don’t understand the power of a quiet conversation. They don’t see the change in someone’s state when another person acts in a subtle way. They don’t get that someone who seemingly agrees with their position, can have an innocuous experience that makes them stop and think and potentially change their view. They don’t understand that such encounters leave a lasting impression that can sit and permeate in the soul of another.
On another note, earlier this week I was asked in a private facebook group I belong to, to share my mission. I wrote it without hesitation and without stopping. It felt good. Here’s what I wrote:
My niche is women in leadership positions who want impact without having to become masculine to do so. They know this is hard but they understand that EVERYTIME they call out bad behaviour, act in a way that promotes cooperation and collaboration and/or puts their mission before profits or promotion, that they aren’t alone and that somewhere else in the world someone is doing the same. They know that while they might not always see the direct result of what they do, they do it anyway. They believe every time they act authentically as who they are, without the politics or behaving in the way others expect them to, someone is looking and learning and someone’s views are shifting. And that is enough.
As I’ve been thinking about these two experiences, I’ve realised there’s actually a common thread. In the safe environment amongst my peers I easily and readily share my mission. However, in the public domain, I shy away from such strong views and try to moderate them to make myself and others more comfortable. In the same way I’m sure my client uses her intuition to manage and influence her family and relationships. I’m sure she knows just the right thing to say to make someone close to her reassess their position on something. I bet she isn’t loud, over the top or bossy at home but rather uses her quiet demeaner to get things done and has a knowing that she is able to influence what comes in and what goes out of her life. I am sure she is energised and confident just being herself in an environment where she is valued for who she is.
And this is what I love about coaching others. There are lessons for us all. For me, I need to take the advice I gave her and trust my superpower which for me is my mission. I don’t need to be loud and aggressive; I don’t need to change who I am, but I do need to stand in the belief that it’s mine. I need to need to be clear and articulate. I need to stop hanging around the periphery. I have to trust my deep knowing that somewhere, someday someone will remember something I say or something I write and without me ever knowing they’ll make a decision at work that takes us all one step further valuing the gifts that women who are brave enough to stand in their superpower bring to the world.
If you also want to stand more confidently in your superpowers and stay connected with me and my mission then please join my mailing list. I’d love to so this with you xx